My phone has started autocorrecting the word 'manic' into 'magic' so I thought I'd write a poem about how magic my bipolar disorder is- Cuz lately, I've been feeling magic as all hell- I've been feeling so magic that I start drawing and humming and hyperventilating in the middle of my classes- I've been feeling so magic that I've started pulling knee high jumps in the middle of serious conversations for no reason- I've been feeling so magic that I've got sparks slipping from my fingertips, I've got beehives growing in my eardrums, I've got birds congregating in the hollows of my bones

I have been feeling so magic that nothing feels right or everything feels right- Or I want everything to feel right- Or I just want to jump off this stage and see what it feels like to crowd surf with no one watching- I just want to tell everyone that I love them and I hate them and that I think their earrings remind me of bullet holes and pineapples- and I want to jump in front of a car, not because I want to die, just because I want to know what it feels like

I'm so magic that my impulse control is slipping- I've started twitching- Hiding my tiny explosions of action underneath walks or trips to the bathroom- I want to punch everything, all of the time

I'm so magic that even when I sleep I don't sleep- because I keep dreamin about someone- killin me- or me killin them- or bad memories- of ill intent- and then I wake up with dark rings under my eyes- Magic!

I'm so magic that this anger rips out of my chest- like an exorcism, except I like this alien- He makes me feel nice, takes me out on weekends, knows how to make a good crepe

I'm so magic right now and it is hard to want to be gentle when you feel like the world is at your feet, waiting to hear what the moon tells you next- I just don't want to remind myself that delusions of grandeur rarely last long enough to build an empire- I have met the Devil and he warned me about waking up- He warned me about this world- I've been told- that I'm not really magic- Well then how do you explain the way that this world sings into my ear as I fall asleep- It's mesmerizing, it's a miracle, it's a massacre, manic in it's mystery- Making me complete